i just want to be around people who find me worthy
i’ve the unhappiest i’ve ever been this year. Meeting gaga and hilary duff, two of my hero’s i’ve had for many years have kind of made me realize what im worth and why people around people who make me feel this way is doing nothing for me.
im sick of crying in my bed every night because i feel like i dont belong or dont fit in because i dont like the same things as people so they dont feel the need to not include me or make me even feel like im not even there. im sick of being ignored. im sick of meeting new people and every time all my other friends get all the attention and me sitting there like..hello? i exist too. I know nothing is intentional but it hurts and i hate it. so i will give you exactly what you give me, nothing.I want to talk about what I want to talk about and if you shut me down then you can fuck right off. i honestly cant wait for school to end, its not fun anymore i just want to be done with it.
i am sick of going to school feeling boring and like im not good enough for these people. maybe im not good enough for you but i want to be around people who find worth in me and i feel like i dont have that when im at school.
Simon Cowell (via wwadirectory)
DC - 8/11
i dont get why everybody misses that colourful era of little mix, i love how they dress now, its wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My kitten
2. Are you outgoing or shy? SHY :(
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? LADY GAGA
4. Are you easy to get along with? I think? haha
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I would hope harry would
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? LITERALLY HARRY STYLES IS MY TYPE DOWN TO A T
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Definatley not bc look at me
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Harry
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Rindy
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? no im not able to i’ve got work
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Lost Boy - 5sos, Sissy that walk - Rupaul, Bind Your Love - Cher Lloyd, Thinking out loud - Ed Sheeran, Sexxx Dreams - Lady Gaga
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? depends who lol
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yep
15. What good thing happened this summer? I met Paramore
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Probably.
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? No doubt.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? i dont even remember who it was
19. Do you like bubble baths? love
20. Do you like your neighbors? nope
21. What are you bad habits? everything
22. Where would you like to travel? everywhere
23. Do you have trust issues? idk kinda
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? think about suicide bc life.. joking lol
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? stomache, thighs, arms..everything lol
26. What do you do when you wake up? cry
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Rindy and my pets.
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Ex’s? lol XXX
30. Do you ever want to get married? prob not unless its harry
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? almost bc I CUT IT OMG
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? um heaps idk, i’d fuck heaps of celebs idk..harry, zayn, louis lol
33. Spell your name with your chin. loau7redhn
34. Do you play sports? What sports? i dont lol and thats why im fat
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv 100%
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? everytime
37. What do you say during awkward silences? something stupid
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? harry styles
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? topshop, zara, asos, gfd, unif etc
40. What do you want to do after high school? Makeup and i am :)
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? nothing. im always quiet and it means im too shy to say anything.
43. Do you smile at strangers? no
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? lady gaga and one direction.
46. What are you paranoid about? everybody hating me and my body.
47. Have you ever been high? yes.
48. Have you ever been drunk? yes.
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? no
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? navy
51. Ever wished you were someone else?everyday.
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i was outgoing and i was funny. but i also wish i was skinny so. idk
53. Favourite makeup brand? MAC or kryolan
54. Favourite store? MAC
55. Favourite blog? idk
56. Favourite colour? black or forest green
57. Favourite food? turkish
58. Last thing you ate? chciken breast
59. First thing you ate this morning? turkish pizza
60. Ever won a competition? For what? i havent
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? i havent
62. Been arrested? For what? -
63. Ever been in love? harry
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? well my friend asked to kiss me for a joke and i was like ew no and then he kissed and then it was done. literally meant nothing. it was a joke
65. Are you hungry right now? yep
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? no
67. Facebook or Twitter? depends.
68. Twitter or Tumblr? depends.
69. Are you watching tv right now? no
70. Names of your bestfriends? Mirinda, Lydia, Hilary, Emma. TMC.
71. Craving something? What? haz
72. What colour are your towels? brown
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? i dont
75. Favourite animal? idk dogs
76. What colour is your underwear?purple
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? choc
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? pink
80. What colour pants? floral
81. Favourite tv show? kardashians
82. Favourite movie? lizzie mcguire movie
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?….wtf why is this even a question
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Regina
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory
87. First person you talked to today? somebody from TMC probably
88. Last person you talked to today? today hasn’t ended yet but probably my mum
89. Name a person you hate? the lady to stoped me from meeting harry
90. Name a person you love? harry
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? the lady who stoped me from meeting harry
92. In a fight with someone? nope
93. How many sweatpants do you have? a few
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?few
95. Last movie you watched? idk a jake gylinhall one
96. Favourite actress? -
97. Favourite actor? -
98. Do you tan a lot? no
99. Have any pets? yes
100. How are you feeling? ok
101. Do you type fast? yeah
102. Do you regret anything from your past? yes
103. Can you spell well? no
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? prob not
107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes
108. What should you be doing? not this
109. Is something irritating you right now? yes
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? harry
111. Do you have trust issues? idk
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? well i cried on the phone to rind the other night? does that count
113. What was your childhood nickname?Lolly
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii? no
116. Are you listening to music right now? arctic monkeys
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes
118. Do you like Chinese food? yes
119. Favourite book? perks of eing a wallflower
120. Are you afraid of the dark? idk not really
121. Are you mean? so mean
122. Is cheating ever okay? idk, not really but sometimes shit happens.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no
125. Do you believe in true love? no
126. Are you currently bored? ish
127. What makes you happy? one direction - seriously.
128. Would you change your name? yeah
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway? yep
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?avoid the topic at all costs and pretend its not happening.
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? RInd
133. Favourite lyrics right now? WIsh i could wake up with amnesia, forget about the stupid little things
134. Can you count to one million?n0
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed
137. How tall are you? 5.6 or something
138. Curly or Straight hair? in the middle
139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette
140. Summer or Winter? summer
141. Night or Day? night when i dont have work the next day
142. Favourite month? january
143. Are you a vegetarian? no
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk and dark
145. Tea or Coffee? coffee
146. Was today a good day? it was alright, average.
147. Mars or Snickers?mars
148. What’s your favourite quote? “what a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.”
149. Do you believe in ghosts? 100%
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? soz no book near me.
i just need somebody to talk to right now, i feel so insecure im not good enough for anybody or anything and i know im such a failure at everything in life i cant stop crying:(